Old Unc. J thought we might start the New Year out with a non-political golf poem. I used to write these for a local magazine (has since gone to the publishing house in the sky) and will be dropping into this space periodically.
Hope you enjoy!

THE THINKER

On the first tee, there was a slight shift in the wind
I calculated to what degree my shot, it might bend
I noted the morning dew was beginning to dry
I’d get some roll if I didn’t hit it too high

I called up my advisors in my head
And thought of all the tips that I had read
Harvey told me to use a strong grip but hold light
Rory wanted my thumb to come a bit to the right

Arnold said to put the ball just off my front shoe
Rickie suggested a slight knee flex would do
Jason relayed that I should straighten my back
Phil warned not to take too big of a hack

Jack whispered I should cock my head just a bit
Gary demanded deep breaths before I did hit
Lee joked that the ball should be whipped
Bryson shouted it’s better if it is ripped

Swing on plane was Hank’s internet pitch
Charles demonstrated not to swing with a hitch
Tiger had a series of backswing tips
Including a strong rotation of hips

Pause at the apex was what Greg implied
Snead mentioned keeping the club head inside
Stay parallel at the top Hogan declared
Butch cajoled don’t swing like you are scared

My synapses were firing as I started my shot
It’d surely be glorious with all this wisdom I got
I gazed down the middle to spy where it did fall
Only to realize, in horror, I MISSED THE BALL!
🙂