Thinking back to the 1980’s I looked around, and it seemed like everyone had a burger [except me]? Remember Rick’s Burgers in Houston? They were pretty good! How about Betsie’s Burgers, remember those? Well, neither do I… but Betsy had one I bet ya’! Fast-fooding forward to today [no pun intended], and those Mom and Pop burger joints have all but disappeared as mega-corporations carved out large portions of America’s burger turf. For example, In-and-Out-Burger migrated to Texas from California while White Castle, who hails from Columbus, Ohio, infiltrated North Texas at about the same time as well. These days, it seems like McDonald’s locations are no more than one mile apart from each other in any direction. But who’s [really] winning the Burger Wars? The following are my personal opinions on that vital question. Fair warning, your opinions may differ. 🙂 However, I’m always right and after all it is [my] site, so I will prevail unless you protest? Protest buttons and comments are always available on here.

You can still order a burger without a bun so don’t get bullied by teen-something counter clerks who so want you to “fit in” to their electronic ordering buttons by staying within the context of their “meal-deals”. This describes the modern version of burger land these days. “Don’t you want the meal deal?” “How about we super-size your order?” These kids that work electronic registers so want you to fit into one of their meal packages, you know why? Because it allows them the freedom to not think beyond the last text message they received on their cellphone, that’s why. Plus, they won’t have to move their hands as much to punch “unfamiliar” buttons on their screens. In other words, they won’t have to think – thinking about all those annoying thoughts to deliver you a customized order; that’s hard work for a teenager at a time when American kids aren’t prepared for working hard [not at all] in life. Not yet anyway, it’s too soon to see tears fall over not having something in life. A tough day for a teenager is when he came in last in a video game with his buddies. Hamburger clerks hate it when we approach the counter and say things like, “no I don’t want the meal deal, I want a burger on a brioche bun with a small fry and a 20-ounce drink instead of that monstrous cup I have to hold with both hands.”
Now they’re really confused, and it’s such a let down when teens have to calculate what price to charge you. You created a mathematical nightmare when you “customize your order”. Next you’ll hear something like, “but it comes with a medium fry and a super-large drink, aren’t you good with that? Plus, I’ll only have to punch two buttons this way – what do you say? Whereas if I go through all the menu choices to order exactly what you really want, it will require me to think on my own, and push at least 8 more of these electronic buttons. So don’t you want the meal-deal?!” [How exhausting to a teen!]

So who is winning the Burger Wars these days? [I’m only going to cover what I believe to be the largest players here in Texas]:

– On Whataburger, I think they do a great job, not only in serving a true “Texas” burger, with mustard, pickles and onions but also with their theme burgers. They seem to come up with seasonally engineered never-ending burger concepts like their signature patty melt, the sweet and spicy burger, and so many more. They will rotate their theme burger offerings each year so do check them out. I’d have to say that Whataburger has a major niche successfully carved out among all other players in burger wars these days.

– On McDonald’s, if it’s the only fast food available and I’m starving to death, I’m still never ordering a burger here. Instead, I’ll have the fish sandwich [no cheese] and a large iced tea. I have to say McDonald’s has the best unsweet iced tea in existence, ask for them to include a lemon wedge for you.

– On Wendy’s, if you like ketchup on your burger, and you were born in the Midwest or even up East so you really have no clue about what a hamburger is supposed to taste like, plus you always vote for Democrats, I think you found your burger place – it’s Wendy’s! 🙂

– On White Castle, this is the number one worst burger experience I’ve ever had so I will never go back there. A truly intolerable product. It’s still puzzles as to how this organization even survived long enough for me to write about it.

– On In-and-Out, I’ve only had one In-and-Out burger in my life. I remember that the fries were a little larger and fresher tasting than the others but the burger was not memorable, sorry. I think the story behind the forming and ownership of this organization from California is way more interesting than their burger offerings. 😉

– On Burger King, back in the 1970’s the American Burger War was Burger King’s war to lose, and years later lose out they did [to many other players]. However, I want to congratulate Burger King on a couple of points. One, they maintained their concept of the “flame-grilled” burger since the beginning, and it is a tastier burger than the competition for that reason. The other thing, despite the fact that Burger King locations have disappeared over the years the company never abandoned their signature sandwich – The Whopper, which by the way still tastes the same as it did decades ago.

– On Red Robin, this company offers I think around 60 different theme burgers, [certainly at least 50]. So you can find about anything you want to “add on” or “keep off” a burger at a Red Robin location. I think they are migrating into North Texas, however, locations are easy to find in Oklahoma. This company is more of a sit down restaurant concept, so it’s best described as maybe a hybrid but still firmly in the arena of fast food. Their burgers were good but then [for full disclosure] I’ve probably only tried two or three of their endless possibilities.

I never set out to cover all the possible places where one can order a fast food burger, but I think I’ve mentioned today’s largest players in and around North Texas… here’s hoping you will find “you” in a burger. 😉