I would consider going back to work if they would just make me a “Guru”. I mean it’s a short title and would easily fit on a business card. Then of course corporations always mess things up. For example, to approve this request they would also have to allow titles like “Guru-in-Training”, “Associate Guru”, then “Senior V.P. Guru”, then “First V.P. Guru”, then “Guru Extraordinaire” and on and on – so annoying! No, major corporations never play along to just accommodate a single employee’s [humble] request. It’s all good because I don’t think there’s many job openings out there for Gurus anyway. I bet between the 11 million current job openings there’s only a need for one handful of Gurus these days. Plus your wardrobe is different when you’re a Guru, I think you maybe [somewhat] forced into wearing a robe so people recognize that you’re different, plus sporting a scruffy beard helps as well. You may even be required to burn incense inside your office?… it’s that kind of thing.

You have to be an expert at something first to be a proper Guru, and I already thought about this, I have that base covered. I’ll just declare myself an expert at “Experting”! [Hey don’t laugh.] Why not? There’s people in Hollywood right now that are famous [only for] “being famous” – that’s it. People like that guy who thinks he’s an actor, George Clooney? He’s famous for being famous, it certainly didn’t come from any pictures he’s been in. How about Kim Kardashian and Co., she and her clan are famous for being famous. Despite what people say, it can’t be because of Kim’s butt. I mean lots of girls have butts. In fact, I’ve yet to meet a woman who doesn’t have one. So in my mind [anyway] butts must be a dime a dozen, don’t you think? No, the way I think this all happens is you’re going to have to tell a whole lot of people that you’re “famous” first to start with, even when you’re not. I think this is how the Kardashian’s did it. Looks as if all we have to do is keep telling enough people that we’re “famous” and eventually they believe it.

Now extrapolating from this same argument above, why can’t I just be an expert at “Experting”? Because there’s no such thing you say? Well, either is “being famous” for just “being famous” but now it happens doesn’t it? See where I’m going with this boss? So did I land that title of “Guru” or not? 🙂