BRING BACK THOSE BIKINIS!
I recently saw a women’s volleyball match on television and was so disappointed to see the ladies wearing uniforms. You folks want us men to watch your matches, or not? It’s your choice but as for me I got way used to girls only wearing bikinis when playing volleyball. That’s the gold standard, the proper uniform – one string bikini per player, one ball and a net is all required to enjoy watching these matches. Don’t shoot the messenger, you trained me and every other man out there to expect to see string bikinis on beautiful athletes, nothing more, nothing less. I don’t ask for much. Over years and years women volleyball competitions were played in string bikinis and now you want to cover them up? Look they go together – ladies and bikinis have formed a symbiotic relationship, damn-it! It happened a way long time ago, one would have to return to the 50’s and early 60’s in America to know anything different. And I’m not doing that!

Now You Listen Here!
Watching those perfect female specimens jumping and falling and running and power dunking over nets? C’mon, spoil me. Sure, there was a time when I was an honorable stand up kinda guy or even an adolescent kid but those days are long gone and it’s all your fault! Back then I just wanted to watch a good volleyball match but you had to fill my eyes with perfectly round curves and perky little, well you know whats. Need I go on? There was a time when I wanted to just watch a match on television but then something happened, I got into bikinis. Well not “their” bikinis but watching bikinis over say watching an actual match? It got to be where if I was channel surfing for football or golf and ran across a ladies volleyball match in string bikinis that suddenly took precedence over anything else I thought I was searching for, like during Summer Olympic games for example. Now I’m hooked and glad to see major networks are finally covering women’s collegiate volleyball formed with real biological women and not some trans-crap derived from delusional Devilcrats.

But Not All Flowers Are Equal
On the other hand, [or string tie] I want to make something perfectly clear – please do not confuse what I’m saying here to apply to all female sports competitions. Take women’s basketball for example, are those really women? The majority of them look like they came out of one of those Dr. Frankenstein experiments from a black & white horror film starring Boris Karloff. Remember those? Yes, I have tried to forget them as well. Women’s basketball is ground zero for why full-bodied sports uniforms are here to stay, I only wish they would cover everything from the neck down. In fact, let’s go full burkas with headgear on that shit want to? Or like make them wear a one-piece jumpsuit that covers it all. Anything is an improvement for a sport that never lands on my television.

Back to the Good Stuff
When life gets rough, just add bikinis, the skimpier the better? Warning Label: I’m not certain if this has cured much of anything in the past. However, it’s most likely led to some babies being born? Enough said, I believe I speak for most men who are fans of women’s volleyball when I say we don’t care if they play their matches on sand or a wooden court, or even if the coach is in attendance. We don’t mind if your competitions are held indoors or on a beach just promise us you’ll bring back the good ol’ days when female volleyballers dressed in mostly nothing. For the female competitors, I think you’re on to something here, your audience will no doubt continue to grow for the sport provided that is, you maintain a strict [string bikini] uniform policy. 🙂