The Three Stooges comedy trio found trouble constantly as they went about impersonating others. Whether they were pretending to be doctors or carpenters or plumbers or even royalty, each time their pretending antics got them into a mess they needed to escape from. Great comedians they were but there’s a lesson here, the old adage “fake it ’til you make it”, actually doesn’t work that well in real life. Instead, just be yourself and you will never have to pretend unlike those who are pretending to be something they are not – that’s a lot of work! That’s what this story is about.

As you go through your life there will be those that run from you and there will be those that will run toward you. You will run into all types of people, those that strongly disagree with what you stand for and those that agree with you about all you stand for. So being who you are makes all the sense in the world as opposed to attempting to change into that person you think someone else wants you to be. That’s disingenuous, and will not serve you well in the end. So for me these days I try to maintain that which is familiar, that which is genuine and add a dose of righteousness for good measure. I think it’s important to be who we are instead of trying to change ourselves to accommodate the few as detractions come with the territory. In fact, the world we live in today is full of distractions.

If you’re a professional in the business of giving advice, maybe you’re an attorney, money manager, tax advisor, or a consultant of some kind guess what? You’re not going to land everyone you approach as a client no matter how competent you are in your chosen endeavor. That doesn’t sound very fair now does it? Not all your prospects will turn into clients, that’s just life. But why is that? There’s a thing operating under the surface that most are not aware of until they take a deeper dive into it. There they will find that their best clients are more like them than all those who didn’t stick around. The simple matter is that people do business with people they like, and are much less likely to do business with people they do not like. So how did this dynamic work you ask in the case of John and Betty Doe? When after all, they didn’t really know me. This argument seems logical on the surface but that’s what’s wrong with it right there because the answer lies beneath the surface. The bottom line is they did know enough in their own minds [right or wrong] to determine you were different than them. Again, people will do business with people they like the most and who do they like the most? People that remind them of themselves. So there is the connection, people will do business with people that are more like themselves, [think about it], right or wrong they have little choice as they are stuck with themselves. Once you’ve been working with the public in the capacity of providing professional advice of one kind or another, look back at your best clients and you’ll probably find they are a lot like you in meaningful ways. Their goals and aspirations, their attitudes on several fronts and so forth. At a minimum their belief system on how to get that “something” accomplished must have been in line with yours… kind of weird how that happens.

I found and followed some advice in the past regarding attracting a certain type of client. For example, if you’re trying to do business with engineers the experts said to focus on the technical because engineers prize that which is technical? On the other hand, if you’re trying to land clients who are family men then display pictures of your family around the office they said, including a couple of your wife and children for when that prospect comes by for a meeting. This all seems logical to me but none of this stuff trumps authenticity. I have news for all of them, staying in the lane of who you are will land you the longest term relationships, although it’s unsurprisingly an approach which takes significant time and effort [as expected]. I’m not saying you can’t have some relatively short-term success by pretending to be more like a prospective client than you actually are, I’m just saying the probability of this particular professional relationship lasting well into the future will be quite small.

I remember an article I kept for years in my desk, it was on “dressing for success”. This is a concept probably not as relevant as it was [to success] thirty years ago but still today I would not expect a first meeting with a professional in their office where I found them not be dressed for the part? I worked with a ton of doctors and dentists and those guys would come into my office for a meeting in raggy shorts and sandals but still I eagerly greeted them with coat and tie, quite ready for the task at hand. Now if I were selling yachts to billionaires I suppose I could have shown up to a first meeting in shorts and deck shoes, maybe even a trick hat and sunglasses(?), all ready to climb aboard that yacht! 🙂 Whereas if I were to meet a money manager for the very first time and he showed up in a t-shirt and sneakers with studs in his ears [even today] I would have second thoughts about how driven he is in his chosen career. In my opinion it’s best to take dressing for your role out of the equation early so you can instead focus your attention on what you can get accomplished for each client.

Want to attract lifelong professional relationships? Don’t be a stooge – be yourself, and be it good or bad [in their eyes] at least you’re authentic!