Is the price of fairness equivalent to the price of mediocrity [in the real world]? That’s my argument. Let me explain – we humans seek fairness in all dealings and yet in many instances “fairness” is not the optimal solution, not even close to being optimal. The reason why is that “fairness” often times can lead us into mediocrity. When things turn out totally “fair” for both parties involved it can mean that our individual goals were cut short, or never met; both parties [in actuality] didn’t get all they truly were seeking because they had to give up something along the way, or some potential which in the end lent itself to the definition of what was “fair” according to some arbitrator[s] at the time. Have you ever been involved in an arbitration? I’m not talking about a divorce [although that’s a mediation in itself], I’m referring to a mediation where a third-party panel had to decide which, between you and another party, must pay some restitution [or not] to the other in order to satisfy the claims between both parties. Arbitrations seek fairness as a resolution in disputes in order to make the outcome [at least] seem “fair”. What people don’t realize unless you’ve been involved in one of these is that both parties end up losing [by definition] because neither one gets all that they ask for, it’s the very nature of mediation.

I was involved in a mediation once early on in my days as a stockbroker. The resident manager at a small firm took me on to partner and share his book of business but I got to keep mine as well so I liked that deal. Things seem to be going okay when after several months I began noticing my commissions were not reflecting all the trades I was doing for his clients. He must have begun journaling 100% of some commission trades over to his own run? Anyway, I ended up getting recruited by another firm and when my final month’s pay was way short I confronted him and he denied responsibility for any differences. We ended up in an arbitration wherein he was found to have short-changed me but the panel of mediators [4] only made him pay me 1/2 of the actual amount I sought from him. So they sided in favor of both parties effectively. It may have been on the discovery that those were his clients originally, I’m not certain of their rationale but that’s a mediation process, so go in expecting to lose [something]?

We often come to the conclusion at an early age that “fairness” is what we seek [in all dealings] when in reality true “fairness” might feel good in the short term but it can stifle, even cripple where we actually want to go [in life]. The subject of something turning out “unfair” was one of the first lessons I taught my Son. He was crying over a the loss of playoff baseball game. I explained to him that life was not always “fair”. I think that resonated well with him going forward. We can be learn from these disappoints, they humble us and get us to think about things and realize you have to build your own plate in life. Is your plate full of good things?

“Rome wasn’t built in a day”, or even a year for that matter. So why should we always find instant gratification? I suppose I could win the lottery too but have you noticed that the numbers keep changing, what’s that all about? 🙂 See now how if the lottery treated everyone fairly it would be void of challenge? If everything in life was fair and we won the lottery and that new client and everything we ever wanted we would be bored out of our minds is my [best] guess. It’s one of the true paradoxes in life. So when life is being unfair can that have the effect of actually making us all better [people]? My take on the subject is that losing out definitely builds character. God, I hate when I lose! It can certainly build resentment in some of us but we need to resist this eventuality. All the juice the useful “utility” comes from striving hard to obtain something. It’s like the difference between enjoying the ride as much as the final destination. Persistence wins out every time but we often ignore the rules of the game. And remember, as long as life is treating you fairly in all dealings you are slowly losing [somewhere or something].

An Addendum to Infinity
As for me personally, trying to reach competence in anything was always hard work. Nothing good in this life has ever come easy for me and I guess it shouldn’t have either. I found those things that came easy for me could also blow up in my face. If this describes an experience you have had, you might check the rear view mirror next time for something known as a “reality check” as those can be on their way? I’m so used to it by now and I sum it up to my personal psyche liking the challenge involved in delving into things before I have all the information required to achieve a level of competence in them. Therefore, my personal challenge is in chalking up any “fails” to learning opportunities and leaving my negative attitude in check. I say KEEP THE FAITH as each failure makes the taste of victory ever-so-sweet! 😉