Breaking News: Everyone Sucks But Me!

Breaking News: Everyone Sucks But Me!

I feel like a fish out of water and I’m so pissed [about it]! I turned the news on this morning to find there wasn’t anything positive going on, anywhere around the world. After an hour of listening to nothing but negative stuff going on virtually everywhere; I slumped back in my chair realizing everybody and everything in this world essentially sucks. That is, everyone but me!

It’s lonely up here [at the top]. How could you guys leave me out here all alone to watch you suck at [basically] everything? 🙂 Every decision being made out there is destroying something in its path, have you noticed it too? And yet here I am, the only one that doesn’t get to hose something up? Of course I’m going to feel left out. Do you realize the torment I’m going through here? You abandoned me! Please never leave me out of your terrible plans to make terrible mistakes again! 🙂

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Jeff Page
2 years ago

Although I’m right handed, I find comfort in sucking when I use my left handed mug. If you ever fall into sucking, be sure to have your opposite handed mug ready.
Sucking sucks!
Your friend, Ben Seen Lurkin.

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