My Forward ~
Once upon a time when I was on Facebook I would post a segment of my personal episodes of being “single”, and they were always humorous. The funniest thing about sharing my single ventures is that most of my married guy FB friends would remain silent, which speaks to me in volumes. I would only receive feedback and sharing from the ladies, and their inputs I can admit were mostly “value-added”, I really enjoyed their pushbacks. The married guys, on the other hand, probably always agreed but were living out their attached lives in scared silence. I got used to very few men ever commenting on these posts, not because they disagreed with my take on living single, but because they could not afford to upset their own apple carts at home.
Advantages to Being Single ~
– You can drink a beer and burp way loud, as loud as you once did in H.S. never having to offer up an apology… I accomplished this earlier tonight!
– When you’re single you can sleep on any side of the bed you want, and even trade your pillow for the one that’s still “fluffy” with no pushback.
– When you’re single you can have anything you want for dinner and you’ll never have to eat tacos or her homemade chili again when you really wanted Chinese.
– The electronic scale in the bathroom with “memory” that she bought recording weight measures will never “mysteriously” breakdown once you’re single. Instead it will run for years and years on just one set of batteries, imagine that!
– That monthly “hair styling and make-up” budget is suddenly nonexistent once you’re single.
– When you’re single you can buy someone a new vacuum cleaner and receive no chastising at all. Instead they’re grateful that you even thought about them!
– Single men can be right about 99% of the time whereas I noticed that when I was married I was usually wrong, amazing how that works!
In Conclusion ~
I’d like to finish by saying that giving this much freedom to any man might – just may be somehow dangerous to our health? I don’t know the jury is still out on that matter as not enough research findings have been published by men, [probably due to the retributions involved in doing so]? 🙂 These will be required in determining whether or not, giving this much freedom to a fully grown “four-decade-long teen” [such as myself] can ever be “sustainable”?
LMAO! 🙂
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Life was so much simpler as a single male. Women by now, must surely have figured out that men stop maturing at or around 16 years of age. Ladies, you’ve married a perpetual 16 year old. No, we really don’t wash our hands after taking a squirt, we do however run some water over them so we can make it sound and appear as though we did. I fully understand the bed issue, pillows, comforters and my slice of territory. Don’t Jack with a man’s territory, you’re already taking up 7/8ths of the bed with your pilates routine in your sleep, the 3 novels you’re rereading because (be honest, you didn’t understand it the first time. Hint: Kujo is a rabid dog) they’re such great stories and well written! Sleeping sideways with an elbow in my ear is not a sleeping position, it’s an invasion of my territory.