I was rushed to the hospital dying of Asthma three separate times by the age of 4 but that still didn’t kill me. It was just a few years later when God would inflict the larger pain on my psyche, my 1st Grade Report Cards from Mrs. Calnan began arriving at the house, [pictured]. It appears as though that I was destined for the “dumbass” as a youngster, at least by the judgements of a few Red Elementary School Staff.

Background:
It started a couple weeks ago when I brought down a dusty box tucked up high in my master closet. Boxes stored on that shelf are usually meant to contain things I never planned much on invading, at least not for a very long time. Upon bringing it down I realized it was a case of mistaken identity, it contained something besides what I was looking for, but a voice inside my head was telling me to explore it anyway. I remembered taking possession of some things once my Father passed away in 2015 and my sister and I were cleaning out the parent’s house to sale. It contains memorabilia, old photographs of me and other important people in my life, plus some things my parents held onto all these years. This is where the epiphany took place, I got to see just how much my parents loved me, by virtue of the fact that they kept most of my elementary report cards and school class photos all the way to the end, of their lives – that’s love right there, all tucked away in a 2 x 2 ft. box. It’s like I want to call him up and say Dad let’s talk about my 1st Grade Report Card for a minute – what was it like when you first glanced at this horrible report card? Were you laughing or crying? Did you write me off as just another dumbass? Were you okay with the fact that I might have never achieved much in life? I have to know these things – I so want to have that conversation I never had [with him]. Then I was thinking, maybe my Mom hid this report card from him, as she hid some others that I brought home during those early years. There for a while we kind of had a deal if you don’t tell Dad I’ll be the best Son you can imagine Mom, or at least until next semester? She was okay with cutting side deals as long as it didn’t happen very often. I think her motive was that if I can stay below his radar screen and out of trouble, then the whole house remained kind of copacetic [for all involved]. On the other hand, once you wake the sleeping tiger, misery would be scattered across the totality of the Newman household – no one was safe! I figure my Mom must have known what she was doing…

I couldn’t help but take note of my 1st grade report card, I do not remember much of my 1st grade teacher, Mrs. Calnan, but a couple incidents. Mostly I remembered what my parents told me later, that she counseled them on having me repeat the 1st grade, and they took her advice, so I repeated the 1st grade. Then, looking even further into what my second grade teacher, Mrs. Reynolds, wrote on that final 2nd grade report card, she advised my parents to place me in a 6-week Summer School class as a stipulation for her to promote me to the 3rd grade. So I had my Summer interrupted [again] before I could even enter the 3rd grade, but at least this time I found my way directly into 3rd grade. So my suggestion is, open these old boxes [from your parents] at your own risk! 🙂

I wasn’t one of Mrs. Calnan’s best 1st grade students. From the looks of it you might say she had “issues” with me. I think she even grabbed and twisted my ear a couple times, but back in the early 1960’s ear-twisting inflicted by a teacher was something they were allowed to do, and students were obliged to take it and not squeal much, but a wince here and there seemed to be okay, if I remember correctly. I also remember this part, I never said anything to my parents about it when she twisted my ear off, I guess it was one of those things I would have received at home had they known Mrs. Calnan needed to do it during the daytime? Actually, I thought about these things today as I was reading this horror story known as my 1st Grade Report Card. That’s about when I felt a sense of peace come over me – I no longer hated Mrs. Calnan, I figure she was doing her job and she, along with several other grade school teachers probably saved my ass from a ton of issues later in life, if the truth be known! You see I’m one of those people that believes beyond refute that discipline properly timed [even cruel] actually saves people by making them better than they would have otherwise been. It’s little things like this I am grateful for to this day.

Here’s a breakdown of the classwork grades I received in Mrs. Calnan’s 1st grade class: (as the photo above had to be reduced to fit on this page)
12 F’s, 7 D’s, and 4 C’s. [That’s equivalent to receiving failing marks in more than half of my classwork!]
And my conduct scores weren’t much better – 1 B, 3 C’s, and 2 D’s.

The page on the right lists how I scored in “Conduct Traits and Attitudes”, and “Work-Study Habits”:
“Disciplines Himself” [all below average!]
“Responds Promptly and Willingly” [all below average!]
“Is Attentive” [below average except once!]
“Is Self-Reliant” [all below average!]
“Uses Time and Materials Effectively” [all below average!]
“Follows Directions Intelligently” [all below average!]

On the other hand I did well in the following categories:
“Is Courteous”
“Works and Plays Well With Others”
“Respects Property Rights”
“Does Neat And Orderly Work”
“Health Habits”.
[My interpretation of the above is – so I was a dumbass, but at least I was nice about it? Plus I didn’t once pick my nose in class!] 🙂

Summary:
Fast forward to today, the way this story will end is that I’m the only one in my immediate family to ever earn a college degree, I hold three now plus a professional designation. This idiot who was never meant to be much has letters behind his name, [for as long as I agree to pay the Certified Financial Planning Board their annual dues?] But I’m not bragging, not at all. I believe everyone out there is capable of accomplishing anything they set their mind to, no matter how they began life. Albert Einstein was a terrible student in lower level, elementary grades. I read once where he failed either the 2nd or 3rd grade, and the 5th grade. But look what he ended up achieving – who can claim to match his achievements in academia? Probably no one ever. I guess I had some qualities like persistence and a never-quit kind of attitude that dominated, and overcame my lack of attention span. For any ladies reading this, my typically male, [or status quo], attention span has not improved tremendously though my mind thinks in stereo, seems I’m always juggling two thoughts at once! Maybe that stemmed from me having a back-up plan in case my first plan failed? Either way, I still can’t believe every morning these days I can basically sleep in as long as I want, even up to the point where I begin to feel guilty about it? I’m now sending a major salute out to all my Red Elementary School teachers from Houston who paved the way for me in this life. If it weren’t for them showing me where the cracks in the glass occurred I bet I’d be almost nowhere to this day. 😉