What’s that you say Judge? Without looking up at me even once as I approached his bench, this Judge [a huge Black man] repeated his words – “turn around and walk back out” [as he motioned to the door of his courtroom], still refusing to make eye contact with me. He murmured under his breath, “you are welcome to return when you have pants on.” I turned around to look toward the exit from whence I came in but this time it was in disbelief as I turned my gaze backward toward him. I began the long stroll back out [of his courtroom] as ordered, shrugging my shoulders at his court assistant in confusion. She reiterated the judge’s words, “no shorts are allowed in this court, please read the sign on our door.” There was indeed a small sign on the glass entry doors but [in my defense] I’ve been programmed all my life to disregard all posted advertising, my bad I guess. The whole incident took me by surprise, it was an eye opening moment. All I was trying to do is have a ticket for wreck-less driving removed from my record. This story wouldn’t end for a couple more hours, as something even more peculiar was in store for me before this story would come to a conclusion, and a rather humorous conclusion at that.

Background:
In my late 20’s I was working hard during the day as a stockbroker as well as partying hard at night. It’s what American kids do in the 20-somethings. I remember one particular night, it was late and I had to be at work bright and early the next morning so I was in a bit of a hurry to return home. Heading North on Hwy. 6 I remember thinking to myself how dark it was out when I passed a Sheriff’s patrol car parked on the shoulder. No sooner than I passed him he was in my rear view mirror with lights flashing. I pulled over thinking I was only going less than 10 miles over the speed limit, what does he want? He walks up to my car asking for ID and proof of insurance. “You know why I stopped you?”, he asked me. No, I really didn’t know, I figured maybe he was either afraid of the dark, or just boosting his ticket quota? 🙂 He says “I saw you weaving thru traffic.” I defended that by saying I apologize for not using my blinker a couple times Officer but I wasn’t “weaving”. He hands me a citation for essentially “wreck-less driving”. Something I did not want on my driving record so I decided to at least try and fight it.

Returning to My Story:
My court date was set for a Saturday morning and I remember walking out of the house sporting my normal Saturday attire – white tennis shorts, running shoes and a t-shirt. There was one positive I thought, even though it would mean a long drive into downtown at least I wouldn’t have to fight the usual Houston traffic since it was after all a Saturday morning. I found the courtroom and walking in I was optimistic, I figured I’ll be headed right back home in 20 minutes, but it wasn’t to be.

So as you learned earlier, I felt a sense of dejection once I witnessed rejection, or something like that. I was told my attire was not appropriate for a courtroom. Look, it’s the weekend I thought, couldn’t he have given me a break? The benefit of the doubt of the benefit of the doubt of the benefit… well, you know. I mean it was a weekend. However, I remembered his courtroom attendant saying I could come right back in, no new court date need be set. So heading back to the courthouse parking lot I thought [to myself] I can’t drive all the way back home and then drive all the way back, no way! I’ve got some cash on me, I’ll just buy a pair of pants here and I’m right back in that courtroom. But I still had two hurdles to cross – first I had to find a men’s clothing store downtown, and second I had to find one that’s open before normal retail hours and that’s not going to be easy I thought. I jumped in the car and began driving around, part of me was saying, “forget it, you’re never going to find anything.” Discouraged, I was about to abandon ship and turn for home when I looked around a parking lot. There was a Karate Store, with a sign saying they supply Martial Arts type things, and they were open! Walking in, I thought to myself, “please have some pants, please?” The Asian behind the counter asked, “can I help you?” “I said I need men’s pants and quick, do you have anything, size doesn’t much matter.” He directed me to the back of the store where he said I think there might be a couple black pairs left. Picking one up, it wasn’t my size but it was equipped with a tie waist in the front, just enough to keep it on me I thought. I bought them and hurried out of the store. I put them on over my shorts in the parking lot and headed back to court. Walking into the courthouse I had a few stares, I know they made me look absolutely ridiculous [this was way before baggy pants were ever in fashion], but I remembered all they said was that I had to have pants on, they never mentioned the kind of pants or even that they necessarily had to fit. I’ll never forget, walking back into that courtroom. This time the Judge, looking up at me from his bench, broke into a huge laugh which he then tried calming with his hand. 🙂 Then he motioned for me to approach the bench. I was filled with half-hope and a half-smile, and once he got his composure he asked me a couple questions then says, “Okay, I’m not going to remove your guilt for this citation, however, I will reduce your fine. See my clerk for details and you are free to go.”

So my Dojang pants idea was a success and that traffic fine?, which would have been around $150 to $200 at that time, was reduced to only half the amount. So I learned some things [about me] that fateful Saturday which would benefit me later. One thing I learned is that courtrooms require some formality but the best thing I learned that I never knew about myself is that I’m “resourceful”, I find ways to get things accomplished even when sometimes the solution is “unconventional”. There’s always a solution to every problem. In summary, I never wore those Karate pants in public again, but I do remember running into them on occasion some years later, [in my drawer chest], and each time I looked at them it put a smile on my face. 🙂